The Tonic of Wildness
Dec. 14th, 2017
“We need the tonic of wildness...At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods
It's been too long since I have done any deeper writing and that is why I've chosen an even more remote location to begin my delving in. I've been re-reading Thoreau, walking in the woods, feeling the breath of the wind of my face and finding myself within nature.
This is my first holiday season alone since the ground shook and consumed my old life and so many that I loved in fury, flames and rubble. Then a second jolt severed my connection to the rest and broke what was left of my spirit. I'm intending to reflect, not wallow. I've had too much wallowing, therapy, antidepressants, and a few things in the realm of new age hippy dippy crap. None of it helped.
I still have some family and they all invited me to spend the time with them, worried for me being out somewhere so remote. Uncle John and Aunt Cathy sent a slightly ridiculous care package after my many refusals. My cousin Barb from the middle of Nowhere Saskatchewan actually mailed me some of her mother in law's perogies. Oddly they were edible and pretty good. My cousin Audrey from Dankoville in the States sent a big box which I'm sure is books. She does run a bookstore after all. Leah offered to come here, even though she hates snow. I've sent everyone on my list the same book ; Pema Chodron's Practicing Peace in Times of War. I appreciate the kindness and concern and I have decided to go it alone.
I'm not truly alone on this island though. I have a neighbour I still have yet to meet. I've seen him pass, walking often with a dog. Today I went on a mission and came home to a note from him. My front door has been tricky and doesn't always catch so I suppose it blew open. He kindly closed it and let me know. Good to know he's not a robber or a creep who would come in to wait for me. Leah says I should make sure he's not an ax murderer as well. How does one determine that factor in casual conversation? "Oh hello, my name is Anna. Lovely dog...by the way have your considered chopping me up at random?" I too have an ax. Perhaps this Winter has similar concerns himself. I mean ax murderers just look like everyone else after all. Maybe I'll drop him off some non ax shaped cookies and say hello.
My mission to the forest was perhaps a frivolous one. I have decided to have a Christmas tree. Yes, just for me. I have no ornaments so I'll have to make some from what I have around. I managed to cut down a small pine and drag it behind my snowmobile on my toboggan. Now there's a Canadian Christmas card eh? We'll see how far I get with this project.
“We need the tonic of wildness...At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be indefinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods
It's been too long since I have done any deeper writing and that is why I've chosen an even more remote location to begin my delving in. I've been re-reading Thoreau, walking in the woods, feeling the breath of the wind of my face and finding myself within nature.
This is my first holiday season alone since the ground shook and consumed my old life and so many that I loved in fury, flames and rubble. Then a second jolt severed my connection to the rest and broke what was left of my spirit. I'm intending to reflect, not wallow. I've had too much wallowing, therapy, antidepressants, and a few things in the realm of new age hippy dippy crap. None of it helped.
I still have some family and they all invited me to spend the time with them, worried for me being out somewhere so remote. Uncle John and Aunt Cathy sent a slightly ridiculous care package after my many refusals. My cousin Barb from the middle of Nowhere Saskatchewan actually mailed me some of her mother in law's perogies. Oddly they were edible and pretty good. My cousin Audrey from Dankoville in the States sent a big box which I'm sure is books. She does run a bookstore after all. Leah offered to come here, even though she hates snow. I've sent everyone on my list the same book ; Pema Chodron's Practicing Peace in Times of War. I appreciate the kindness and concern and I have decided to go it alone.
I'm not truly alone on this island though. I have a neighbour I still have yet to meet. I've seen him pass, walking often with a dog. Today I went on a mission and came home to a note from him. My front door has been tricky and doesn't always catch so I suppose it blew open. He kindly closed it and let me know. Good to know he's not a robber or a creep who would come in to wait for me. Leah says I should make sure he's not an ax murderer as well. How does one determine that factor in casual conversation? "Oh hello, my name is Anna. Lovely dog...by the way have your considered chopping me up at random?" I too have an ax. Perhaps this Winter has similar concerns himself. I mean ax murderers just look like everyone else after all. Maybe I'll drop him off some non ax shaped cookies and say hello.
My mission to the forest was perhaps a frivolous one. I have decided to have a Christmas tree. Yes, just for me. I have no ornaments so I'll have to make some from what I have around. I managed to cut down a small pine and drag it behind my snowmobile on my toboggan. Now there's a Canadian Christmas card eh? We'll see how far I get with this project.
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